Love Letters

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As he looked around the room he knew it was a fantastic idea.

Moving back to Hampshire was like reading an old story book that was found in a box in an attic from when he was a boy.

The house was huge with six bedrooms. Being his parent’s old house he once lived with his two younger brothers and one older sister. ‘I need room for my piano’ he thought as he looked at an empty corner in the back room.

Charlie’s a musician, and once formed a band in 1984.

Together with him; friends, Ziggy (Dan}, Ricky, Lee and Steg (Steve) played in the garage, later managing to get a few gigs, but later split, now moving on to produce his own work of ‘family life.’

‘I remember my first piano sat just there.’ He smirked as he brought old dusty box inside. His Mother sitting him down from the age of eight adamant he will learn. The haunting sounds of Moonlight Sonata bounced of the wall and echoed like a distant memory. Ghost like she sat in posture playing, as he perched on the stool watching and learning, closing his eyes a tear almost fell, his heart wrenched.

Shaking his head he returned to reality, his home now but again.

The furniture had already been delivered and beds where all made. The kids rooms where ready for them when they came back. Slowly took in the scent and remembered flash backs from his youth.

Finding himself in is old room as if his legs took him; every thing seemed the same, as he was always hording, keeping stuff that was once in that room and now still there. It was like he didn’t like to change a thing.

Chas crouched over a box of old clipping of magazines, articles, Guitar books and a very old melody maker from 1984, and then…

He pulled up a local ad with one of their gigs advertised, black and white photos with all of them looking very young.

Chas’s flash backs became more apparent now as he sat on the bed and closed his eyes.

“We started just as friends but became lovers as the time went on.

It was so long ago but feels like yesterday when I see your face in the magazine.”

Chas sighed heavily and dropped the book to answer the phone that broke his thoughts with its annoying tone.

“Hey Chas heard you moved back to old roots. Listen I’m in England for the week just wondered if I could drop by and say hi and reminisce some old memories of the old place.”

It was Ricky, the one friend he still kept in contact after all these years.
He was living in the States now, a successful businessman. Working in dealing cars well; limos and vintage cars, always a passion he had back then.

“Sure be fantastic, I found a lot of old stuff whilst clearing out, I wanted something to show you,” Chas grinned holding an old crinkled envelope full of paper.


“I will get in a few cans, and the hard shit” He chuckled.

“Sounds great I will be over in say in couple of hours about seven good for you?”

“Ok see you then, I’ll order pizza too.”

“Be fantastic Bud!”

“Yes, you surprized, but then you always did” He blushed as a tingle ran down his body.

Putting down the phone running his hand though his dark brown hair with such elation, his heart raced. Spending the day looking through all the archives he kept for twenty- two years, he was so excited he could barely keep from grinning.

“Shit!” he cursed realising that he was supposed to get all the boxes unpacked but instead, he was sat in the room he used to own reading these notes.

He looked at the clock that said twenty-five to seven.

He was going to be here in twenty five minutes or so and he had done nothing.

In such a rush to get the place looking homely he dropped an old photo, it smashed on the wooden flooring.

Picking it up he found it was Grace’s and his wedding picture, she will be furious.

But as he took out the photo, there was a surprise behind it.

Ricky and he staring back looking so happy, adolescent at the time.

‘We must have been in our mid to late twenties he pondered, trailing a finger over his face.

The door knocked scaring the crap out of him, sliding the picture eryaman escort into his back pocket its then scurried about to make the place look presentable. There was Ricky stood smiling then embraced him for longer than he expected.

“Been a long time old man but you still look fantastic.”

Chas blushed; cheeks redden like a little garden gnome.

“So do you. Why haven’t you got fat like the rest of us?” he laughed letting him in.

“Exercise and T- total these days, well to a degree.” That charmed smile caught his heart once again.

“Fuck that! I still like my beer and I convince my self vodka is slimming but hey” he shrugged.

They walk in to the kitchen Chas opens a bottle of wine still smiling like a cat, excited at the thought of what he wanted to show his old friend.

“Well does this mean you won’t be sharing this with me?” he poured a glass.

“Ah sure why not, it’s only a glass or two” He winked.

“Great, beers in the fridge if you prefer,” Hands him the glass and pours one for him. He was always found of a glass of Chardonnay, even though it was a little uncool to drink wine back then.

They sip quietly for a time, Ricky looking around remembering the old days they had here.

“Wow it hasn’t changed much, still got that god awful wallpaper in the hall,” They laughed, then silent again.

“Well this will need work but it’s worth it just to buy the house for the sake of Mum,”

He went serious as he sat down next to him on the sofa that still had a plastic cover on.

“I’m sorry mate, how..?

“…Two years now but the pain never fades.”


“Don’t be she didn’t suffer, Dad came over and helped until… Anyway how have you been? You are looking well as I already stated.”

“Never better, apart from that bitch putting me through hell”

“Oh I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be glad it’s all over, free and single again” He laughed loud.

“Never the man to be shackled or caged”

“Too much agro, too much hurt, I was better with you guys. Have fun and life.”

“Like old times,” They chinked glasses and drank in this room like youngsters again.

For a short time the memories came to life. Flickers from the past appeared; the old arm chair, the tiny black and white television, even the smell was still lingered in the air. The bread Chas’s Mother used to make, and his Dad pipe sitting in his chair reading the sport peering over his glasses saying ‘You boys ain’t up to mischief I hope,’ as they fled out the door or locked the bedroom door.

“No Father just showing Ricky a few chords on the Acoustic” Chas would replied his cheeks flush with that cheeky grin.

They joked and fell about in belts of laughter, the pizza ordered, eaten, and then it was time.

“Come up stairs I have a surprise for you.”

He gave him a dubious look, almost in a way he was returning back.

“No, no” He reassured him.

They both slowly took one step at a time and finally came in to the room, Charlie’s old bedroom.


Ricky’s eyes lit up as he remembered it just how it was Twenty-odd years ago.

The emotions bought to the surface as he found the magazines on the floor.

They did well, local clubs, pubs, even close to getting signed, but it frizzled away and was gone by the Nineties. They could have been big, in this town the locals they were squeezing out to a bigger pond.

“My god it’s like … just a shrine to the Eighties here, you kept a lot of stuff?”

“Yeah I had to hide it from Grace. She nagged about the junk and almost threw them out.”

Idly grazing through some of the papers, Rick was overcome.

Rummaging in a draw he handed over the envelope that would shock him more.

Knowing excitedly what they were almost choked him for words.

“You kept these, oh Charlie,” He chewed his lip and took out the tiny scraps of paper some with little notes, drawings, lyrics, music and note papered of love letters.


A lump formed in his throat as he began to read.

Charlie, I will be leaving a minute but I have planted notes all around your room.

In eryaman escort bayan the last one is what I will do for you when I see you again

Love you R xxxxxx

Dear Charlie

I want

I need you

Please see me later

R xxxxxx


Have I pissed you off? Please call me.’

I love you

Meet me at the old king’s pub later

Sorry x

R xxxxxx


I’m going to miss you so much

I wish you where staying here with me

Maybe you and me could get away?

Away from the others

What do you think?


R xxxxxx


It’s difficult for me to talk to you with all the others around us

It is safer if I plant these letters under your Amp.

Before a gig for you to find them and read them later, when you are alone

Here is the first one

I hope it is ok

Meet me in the back room after the show

Good luck R xxxxxx


I enjoyed last night so much I can’t wait to feel your arms around me again.

Feel your lips on my skin

Oh my god I’m starting to sound like Lee hahaha!!


I’m not as soppy as he is -am I?

Ok I wanna fuck your brains out again


Love you R xxxxxxx


Was the hottest night on stage?

A cold shower comes to mind


And there were many more.

In all of these was signs of a love struck boy


Onwards letters notes and gifts.

Ricky wiped a tear, recalling this in his heart that ached. Then he would laugh to shade the hidden depth of real feelings

“My god wasn’t I a sappy girl”

“But a man’s man to everybody else,” He curled up the lips to the side, tapped his shoulder and told him he would leave him for a min to use the bathroom.

Looking around on the dresser he found a very old body spray, the one he used to wear when he was on stage, recollection of that musk breezing though as he walked.

And again that moment as he gently pressed the button and letting the memory of this aroma break his heart again.

It was a time of hard and rough moments in the last years, and becoming men bringing calamity to destructions of his own life. Another break up, confusion and the band splitting.

All were so devastated by his endless drinking, drug habits, sleeping with any woman he could get, and totally blanking each other as friendship evaporated in just a year, disowning him then leaving.


Burying his head in his hands all that love was drained by his own stupidity, and now things changed so much.

Throwing down the papers he stood up to leave meeting Chas in the landing.

He could tell he was hurt as the hazel eyes staring back was filled, was a look he hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Why did you do this? Why do you have to bring up the past?”

“I thought it would be nice, make us feel young.”

“Well you are wrong. Don’t you think I don’t remember the bad times, those times when you abandoned me and the rest of the band, when drove to oblivion because you left me”

“Oh god, I thought it was behind us. You where a walking time bomb what was I expected to do?” He shut his eyes tightly for a brief moment. “We married, our girls, had kids, life goes on.”


“Ricky you are still ‘ALIVE’ surly you should count your blessings that Leanne was there to pick you up.”

“Well she was the only one who did, where the fuck where you guys when I needed you and most of all where you Charlie?”

He became subdue and dropped his head; he felt the pain fill his heart open like a big black hole.

A coward he was then and just ran out when it got too tough. How could he repair the damage when it was already done?

“Please stay, I’m sorry it was a stupid idea, I should have known, forgive me.” He took Ricky’s hands, squeezing them tightly.

“I just liked the memory when we where kids and fooling about. It got too much. You and I even Lee at some point, like homing device for something that couldn’t be place. A escort eryaman puzzle a piece trying to fit in. Yes we had something; I was scared to admit, to answer your letters. We were young, stupid and naive, just playing; you really thought it was going to be happy ever after with us?”

“But I loved, love you Charlie, I never doubted that. I opened my heart to you in the letters, me the manliest. Who’s to think I could feel something so ripe to admit I love you, I never ever felt such longing in my heart. Now I see why you kept them, because you wanted me just as much! Up to now, and I still have it. I miss you like crazy, and when we split, I had nothing left can it be just once more, me and you?”

“We can still do that, I still do” He whispered. “Yes, read them, regretting that I left you, married Grace and carried on with my life as if it never happened? Fooling myself it was a faze crush, a fuck crazy-ass kids messing around meaning nothing? But it did, it meant too much and ran deeper.”

He swayed and fell back on the banister, the drink clearly talking, but he meant every word.

“Look” He pulled out the photo from his pocket and placed it in his hands, “This was behind my wedding photo, you think of all places to hide it” A nervous laugh escaped him.

Ricky let out a relived sigh; a smile placed on his lips then gazed into the drunken blue ones looking back at him.

Sniffing and tried to hold him self up as well he recited. “This was the last year in June NightyÔÇôtwo?”

“Yes, we were at Ziggy’s 30th, got absolutely hammered, ended up fucking in the toilets, then we ran off and did it in the park, remember?”

“Huh yes, we did it whenever, where ever we could. I’m sure Steg twigged you know”

“Yep he knew, but said nothing, not even the day we married our girls. Probably the last time we saw each other as a gang, Lee’s wedding, ours we did without the guys, distant and private.”

“But I divorced Leanne I never made happy families”

“She was never good for you, I knew that”

“No took me twenty years to see it,” He laughed.

An awkward silence filled the space, yet they stood and stared, a magnetic field beginning to serge between then, just that spark and they were in another room.

It was like a time machine again as Ricky looked around. Those old curtains, wall paper and his name scratched on the skirting board that the parents never noticed.

“We used to fuck like mad here, remember the first time, when we were alone? My Mum and Dad took my brothers to a holiday camp and I didn’t want to go because I felt too old and hated those fucking places anyway, Sarah by then was living with her boyfriend.”

“Yeah I broke the vase because I got a bit too passionate, kicked it over.”

“I got the blame for that. Apparently was my great grandmother’s, antique”

“Oh shit, sorry”

“It’s ok, in the past now.” He sat casually next to him on the bed feeling warmth again.

Lightly he brushed his back, that sudden that electric, lust rushing through him.

“Where’s Grace?”

“Her mothers with the kids, she won’t be back until tomorrow. Was meant to unpack and get this place straight before she does.”

“Tell her you where distracted,” He walked his fingers up Chas’s arm, who chuckled shyly, staring at the book shelf.

He remembered a clown that sat on it that used to freak him out. He then felt a breath, hot over his neck, and shuddered.

“Was there another reason why you brought me here because you still love me?”

Their eyes met back at each other, no words said only thoughts of, ‘why not for old time sake?’

Brushing his cheek and trembled feeling how rough his chin is now than it was back then. That rough look was very sexy. .

Lips brushed lightly, quivering as they exhaled into each others mouths.

“I ach for you still” he kisses him once again.

“My intentions were correct I never should have doubted them” Charlie uttered and kisses him passionately. “I’m sorry”

“Its fine just make it up to me now” A saucy glint in his eye as he pushed him down on the bed, hot naked bodies moved under the sheets, entwined, time didn’t matter now.

“I lied, I’m home for good”

The music downstairs blared as they made passionate love, like old times.

The words from love letters echoed from the player to rhythmic moans.

The end

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