Mona and Susie

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The characters in this story are all over eighteen and the age of consent, sex if it happens is consensual. UK English is the rule: if the spellings Mum, arse or colour annoy you, don’t go any further, for the rest of you enjoy.


Albriton was a faded Victorian seaside resort on Britains south eastern coast. It was selected by the Victorian railway entrepeneurs as a seaside destination for those newly enfranchised families who had been granted a statutory two week break. So they formed the London Albriton and South Eastern Railway Company and allowed its lines to spread from their Victoria terminus in London via small convenient towns until the grand station terminus at Albriton. The crumbling facade of the old station and the faded peeling paint of the four storey hotels and smaller three storey guest houses showed the poverty that now existed in this once glamourous town.

No longer the destination of hordes of families for their summer break it had wallowed in despair since the late sixties. Recently, however, the town council had managed to obtain Government funds and developed a new shopping and cinema complex which straddled a block between the two major shopping streets. The venture was bold, futuristic and doomed to failure, since no money existed in the surrounding area to prime the retail pump. Local residents, however, had slowly taken back their sand covered beaches and forgot about the levels of drug, alcohol abuse and petty crime that gripped certain areas of the town. The beaches were gloriously sandy, but with patches of large pebbled inlays in arcs along the sea front. At the far end as the town and sand ran out the beach was almost completely pebbles and a sign of the times was that the designation of this area had been amended to that of a naturist beach.

Susie Walters lay on her back on the beach on a towel, topless, but no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. At six foot three inches, she was considered tall for a woman. There is always a however, however; Susie was completely flat chested. Although possessing a forty inch chest, there were no actual breasts visible as such. True thanks to her efforts in the gym she had what appeared to be nice pecs, but she looked as far removed from feminity as could be. She had a slim boyish figure with a flat stomach and barely any hips.

Down below, under her shorts, she wore knickers over a freshly waxed bare mound, and tucked under and inside that, her labia, vulva and vagina were perfectly formed. In fact she had everything needed to procreate, or have fun. However, her main concern was just that she had no breasts. At puberty, as her friends developed, she remained flat; they had lumps, bumps, then little mounds, puffies, then full grown mammeries, Susie had zip.

A visit to a paediatrician and a gynacologist found no problem with her post pubertal development. Except, as she had screamed at them, “I have no tits, dugs, norks, lady pillows, fun bags, boobs, mammaries, breasts”. The medical fraternity thought; took pictures, measured; thought some more and finally concluded, there was nothing to be done, next case please. At least she had nipples they concluded, so she wasn’t as complete a freak as she thought she was!

After considering surgery, she had thought on and decided if that’s what had been provided, there had to be a reason, so she sat it out and waited for mother nature to supply an answer. Now here she was, thirty three years old, single, and topless. She had lost count of the number of guys who had asked her, “Got a light mate”, thinking she was another guy. It happened daily. Truth was though, she could get away with being shirtless on a hot day, whereas her friends could not. She had never had trouble buying a bra, or found a top too low cut. A couple of times she’s tried a bra with a pair of inplants tucked into them, but it just made her giggle as they swayed around. In reality a couple of her rather well endowed friends were very jealous and made sure she knew it.

At three pm, Susie got up, rolled up her towel and walked to the roadside and as she padded off the beach pulled on a Liverpool FC top. She decided to wander through town, so she sat on a nearby bench and brushed her feet dry, then put on a pair of short socks and trainers; they were fairly bland. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself by wearing girls style footwear in public, what with her boyish shirt and shorts. The fact she had a short boyish haircut all helped her blend in and not look too freakish in her eyes. Standing up and glancing left and right, she ran across the road and headed up through the lanes to the shopping centre.

As she walked though the new centre, wittily named BroadWalk, a girl appeared by her side and nodded at her.

“Hi Susie, how’re doing?”

“Bloody hell, Lola Viola, how the hell are you?”

Ramona Violetta grinned and they hugged. They stood facing each other. Susie looked down at the woman Lola had become. She was dressed in a smart white peasent top, with a scoop neck, revealing a bit of the cleavage she undoubtedly Web Tools had, over that a slightly scruffy and probably too small denim jacket sat round her shoulders. Down below that a short ra-ra skirt sat over her hips and covered only the tops of her very tanned and shapely legs. Finally reaching her feet she saw that they were neatly covered by a pair of canvas sandals. Susie grinned,

“It must be what, twelve no fifteen years since I last saw you; the sixth form dance wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I was with Rici F, remember him?”

“Oh yeah, Tricky Ricky, I swear that guy had four arms?”

“Yeah, he did, especially back then; but fool that I was, I married him!” Lola grinned.

“Shit, sorry, he was OK, there were far worse than him.” Susie began to redden uncontrollably.

“Yeah I know, but, he died last week. Sudden like, no explanation, just found in town, on his back, dead.” Lola looked at the ground, which Susie now hoped would swallow her up.

Shit, shit, shit, I am so, so sorry, my mouth just runs off, I didn’t…” Susie floundered to a halt, thinking having dug the hole she should now stop digging.

“It’s Ok, we’d divorced about four years ago, he was; well, he had other women, lots of other women.” Her mouth was turned down and Susie felt inadequate as usual.

“Oh God! poor you, I don’t know what to say.” Susie shook her head and put her hands on Lola’s shoulders. Lola sighed and put her hands on Susie’s waist. “Can I buy you a coffee and we’ll talk some more, you sound like you need to get this thing out of your system.”

“That would be good; nice; yes please, a coffee would be great.”

“there’s a Starbucks over there or we could go over to the old place, in Fore Street.”

“Flic’s! Let’s go there, it’s not changed much and we might get a booth.”

Susie nodded and wrapped an arm round Lola’s shoulder, Lola at five foot four was like a small garden bird propped against Susie’s heron like stature, but they hugged together and walked out of the Centre across the road and into Fore Street. Flic’s wasn’t really empty, but it was nowhere near even half full. They found a booth and waited for the Waitress. A lady in her early sixties came over, took their order and disappeared. They sat opposite each other and Susie thought that Lola appeared preoccupied, although she thought she knew the reason why.

“So you and Ricky right?”

It’s Rici!”


“His name was Rici!”

“Right, Ricky,” Susie gestured helplessly.

“But you’re saying it with a y it’s not, it’s Rici with an i; Arr, Eye, Cee, Eye; Rici.”


“See not difficult is it. Rici. He was named Ricardo Alberto Giacomo Fenstretti.”

“Fuck! sorry, but that’s a mouthful.” Susie couldn’t help smiling.

“Fuck you! Every day he got the piss ripped out of him for his name; every day just like me.”

But I thought your name was Lola Viola?”

It’s Ramona Violetta, actually; although my family call me Mona. But everyone at school called me Lola, like Mona was too difficult right. Then that prick Kevin Porter shortened my surname too and made me a cartoon character, fucking happy days.”

“I’m really sorry Mona, I’ll try to remember not to call you Lola anymore.”

“S’All right, I’m used to it by now; it’s just sometimes I get a bit…”

“Pissed off with it?”

“Yeah that’s it alright. But you must know that Susie, what with the Titless Wonder jokes.”

“Tell me about it, still no use crying over spilt milk, or even no milk! Ah ha, coffee.”

The waitress put the coffees down and left the bill between them. They took a sip and smiled as the delicious fresh brewed coffee taste filled their mouths. They sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the feel of the coffee and the warm inner glow it gave them. Susie looked at Mona and smiled.

“So, what a coincidence meeting you today?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Well not really, I’d been on to your office earlier and asked if you were in; they said it was your day off and you usually spent it bumming about on the beach at this time of year. I was heading that way when I spotted you.”

“And that was because?”

“I want you to help me find out what happened to Rici?”

“And I’m qualified to do this because…” Susie raised her arms out,

“You’re the Argus’s ace investigative Reporter…” Mona looked at Susie imploringly.

“No! I am in fact, the Argus’s local reporter. I deal with obituaries; thefts but only those not involving violence; flower shows, dog shows, bring and buy sales, Parish meetings and Fetes. The only investigating I do is about the taste of the cakes and wine at the shows and fetes I go to.” Susie stared at Mona and waited.

“But you’ve always wanted to be an Ace Investigative Reporter haven’t you?”

“Yes! But that was on my school report when I left the juniors, when I was eleven. Fate and the Argus had a way of deciding that they don’t need to have me as their Ace Investigative Reporter. It’s what they call Life.”

“I Online Web Tools really need your help on this.” Mona looked at Susie with big round eyes and Susie shook her head.

“No! No! No and No. I don’t have the resources or the ability to be what you’re asking me to be. Lola, sorry Mona, leave this to the Police, they have lots of people who can help you.”

“Yeah like they’re interested, put it down to a drug or alcohol fueled bender gone wrong. No investigation, no follow up.”

“What about a post mortem, a coroners court?”

“PM said massive amounts of alcohol and an unknown drug in the bloodstream, Kebab remains in his stomach. Coroner ruled misadventure, probably died due to the drugs and alcohol mix, a sad indictment on modern society. One bender too many.”

“Well that seems a fair assumption given the facts…”

“Rici didn’t smoke, drink or do drugs. He was bastard for the women, but he was never ever drunk, wasted or high. I know, I lived with him for eleven years. I knew everything about him and he, above everything else he got wrong, was always clean and sober.”

“Did you tell them this, did they listen?”

“Yes and no, they said I wasn’t exactly a grieving widow. If the truth were told I wouldn’t have been that even before I’d thrown the shit out for his continuous shagging outside the marriage. Fuck he’d have shagged you if he could, said he’d tried too.”

“What!!” Susie sat up bristling with rage.

“He told me once he’d tried it on with you, to see how far he’d get. Just so he could say he’d shagged the Titless Wonder, that’s the kind of total shit he was.”

“Mona, I never ever went with Ricky…”


“Rici! Whatever! That’s before we left school, and I promise you I would never have gone near him if he was a married man.”

“Well that’s easy when everyone knows you’re a les isn’t it.”

“Who says I’m a les, I’m not a les…”

“Short hair, boys clothes, no fella?”

“What the fuck are you suggesting?”

“Just saying!”

“Well fuck you, even if I could I wouldn’t help you now, fuck you!”

Susie stood and threw a couple of coins on the table. Mona stood and reached for her hands.

“I’m sorry, really, I just keep lashing out. I hate this, I want to know what happened to Rici and it’s driving me nuts. Sorry Susie, I just fly off at people all the time.”

“OK, OK,” Susie sat down and held Mona’s hands, ” I get it, and I know I dress weirdly but I’m trying to avoid people noticing my…” Susie looked down at her chest. “I have had boyfriends, you know that; but when they discover the lounge’s empty they want to head straight down to the cellar and I can’t deal with them rummaging round down there.” She smiled ruefully and Mona grinned.

“Rummaging round down there is the best bit,” she winked. Susie laughed and nodded acceptance.

“Okay so apart from my wardrobe, my job and my lack of experience, what makes you think I can do anything that the Police couldn’t do?”

“Because you care, it’s in your writing, you enjoy talking about people, you enjoy mixing and meeting people. You also have an eye and turn of phrase that makes even dead people come alive.”

“You think so?” Susie frowned.

“I know so, trust me, you have a lot of fans out here in Albriton.”

“OK,” Susie sighed and accepted the obvious. “So what do you want me to do? I’ve got a couple of weeks leave due, I was going to go to Tenneriffe, but what the hell.”

“What to work on your tan, and get that beautiful chest out in the hot sun?”

“Fuck off.”

“Yeah you too, and the donkey you came in on. Seriously, if you have the time I will help you as much as I can.”

“Fine let’s start with Rici’s place. Is, sorry… was he still local?”

“Yup, just up off the beach about three roads up from here.”

Well no time like the present, my fee is two fifty a day, plus exe’s.”

“In your dreams buster, I’ll cover your expenses with a meal or two, but you’ll have to do this one for love and the story.”

“You drive a hard bargain but sold.” Susie held her hand out and Mona clasped it firmly as they shook on the deal.

As they stood, Mona bit her lip,

“there’s a bit more to this, I…”

“What?” Susie stared at Mona and watched her reddening face.

“I need a place to doss down, just for a while, a week or two. Three at the most.”

“You are kidding me, first the dead ex-hubby, now a bloody free room for a week.” Susie fumed, Mona had the grace to look at her feet.

“Or three; please I need to get out from under my parents, they’re driving me mad.”

“So you want to be driven mad by me instead?”

“So you’ll do it?”


“Take me in?”

“There are no sprogs are there? I can’t stand snotty little kids, no rugrats and no pets.”

“I used to love that, RugRats, Saturday mornings wasn’t it?”

“Whatever, okay change of plan, you go get your stuff and I’ll meet you back at my place; here.” Susie pulled out a notepad, wrote Çevrimiçi Web Araçları her address and tore it out. Passing it to Mona she shut the pad and dropped it back in her shorts pocket with the pen.

“You got a purse or a wallet?”

“Wallet why?”

“Very LGBT, told you.”

“I’ve got girls clothes, lots of them.” Susie yelled angrily as Mona walked away laughing.

“Then wear them girlfriend, wear them. Stop hiding yourself away.” Mona shouted without turning round. She held her left arm up and waved.

Susie grinned, it was good to see Mona again. Perhaps it was time for a school reunion, see what everyone else had got up to in the last decade.

An hour later and Susie bounced off her sofa at the sound of the doorbell. She ran to the hall and almost tore the door off its hinges as she threw it open.

“Hi, come in I’ve made the bed up in the spare room, Coffee, Tea?”

Mona struggled in with two large sausage shaped canvas bags, stuffed full as the bulges in them showed. She followed Susie into the spare room and tried to heave them on the bed. Laughing Susie grabbed one and effortlessly dumped it in the centre of the bed, she grabbed the other and settled it alongside its companion. Mona looked at Susie with a grin,

“Bloody Wonder Woman or what. Look at those musles girlfriend, wow Schwarztenegger would be proud of those. Do you work out?”

“I go to the gym regularly, why?”

“So gay,”

“Can you stop that, I’m not. But even if I were, it isn’t anything to be ashamed of.” Susie bristled and crossed her arms over her middle.

“Quite right and I shouldn’t tease you about it. By the way, I am… lesbian that is. I worked it out at school well before I decided on good old Rici. I just thought like you, camouflage; get married. The fact is, he was so emotionless with me, it was all about satisfaction, his not mine. I never felt love for him, affection, perhaps, comfort, maybe. Never ever love though. No I found love after he’d gone. I met a girl, a lovely lovely girl. But it didn’t last, I was incapable of giving. Having been used by Rici, I was afraid to let go, to let myself love and be loved, so she left me. Been on my own ever since.”

“Bloody hell girl, that’s some emotional baggage you’ve brought with you. But it leads me to ask, why bother about Rici?”

“I don’t know, perhaps because I still feel something for him. He was pretty pathetic in some ways, but he never hit me or intentionally hurt me. So I guess it’s kind of duty really. That or guilt.”

“We need alcohol, what’s your poison?”

“Wine, Vodka, Gin, I hate beer and lager. Cider makes me sick, too acidy.”

“Well; I have red or white wine, some cheap generic supermarket Vodka, or a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin.”

“Let’s head out on the White wine road, then see where we land.”

“Pinot G, Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc?”

“Easy, lets do whatever comes out the fridge first.”

“You’re assuming I keep one in the fridge ready to open?”

“I’ll drink it warm if that helps?”

“Luckily for you I took the precaution of sticking a bottle of each in the fridge when I got back.”

“You’re a treasure, you’re going to make someone a lovely wife.”

“I am and I will; any choice on which one, wine that is?”

“Pinot thanks, got any nibbles?”

“Do want the meal menu too?”

“Do you do meals?”

“Not til after six pm today.”

“What’s on the menu then?”

“KFC, MaccyD’s or Domino’s, you choose?”

“Classy, I love home cooking.”

“Up yours,”

“Yes please it’s been a while.” Mona snorted and headed to the lounge, Susie grinned and swung the fridge door open.

Returning to the lounge she held a slim green coloured bottle clouded with condensation and two mugs.

“Nice glasses, do you have the full set?”

“I broke the last wineglass a couple of years ago, never bothered since; tastes the same from a mug as it does from a glass.”

“So stylish. so elegant, I’m looking forward to the next couple of weeks. Like a live version of Through the Keyhole.”

Susie poured two generous slugs into the mugs and proffered one to Mona.

“Up your bum!” she raised her mug.

“Up yours too, bitch.”

They both swigged at the cool liquid, before setting the mugs down in front of them. Mona sat on the sofa as Susie settled into an upholstered but saggy armchair, the coffee table between them. Mona lay back and crossed her legs in front of herself.

“Look, I know I’m a self confessed lez, but I’m safe you know. You could sit next to me,” Mona patted the seat next to her.

“You sure you won’t try it on? you know try and snog me, stick you hand up my shirt or into my shorts?” Susie grinned as she stood and moved to sit next to Mona.

“I wouldn’t have much luck if I stuck my hand up your shirt would I?” Mona grinned.

“True, but can I trust you?” Susie said as she winked at her.

“Gotta trust me on that one Sooz, I may or may not try to seduce you, who knows you might enjoy it.”

“Exactly, and that would turn my little world upside down.”

“You ever snogged a woman? Ever?”

“No, not really, not proper full on tongues and stuff, why?”

“Just wondered, I hadn’t until I met Julie, couldn’t believe how good it felt, after blokes anyway.”

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