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It may be a stereotype – and most likely an undeserved one – but we men usually do make fun of our women when they go shopping. We groan and roll our eyes, wincing at the thought of our depleted checking accounts and/or huge balances on credit cards, even if our ladies earn their own paychecks and have every right to shop as much as they want. We call them shopaholics, a sort of humorous term of endearment, as far as we’re concerned. We don’t mean any real harm by it. I suppose it’s the same way women feel about our fascination with sports or the television remote. And while we know this is wrong, we still do shake our heads sadly when our wives or girlfriends head off to the mall. Some of us even get chills and hyperventilate when our honeys get to shopping. It’s something we men just have to learn to live with. Still, the fear strikes deep and frigid. There’s no horror movie or novel that can strike as much fear into a man’s heart as a woman with plastic money spending a day at the mall, is there?
While I know full well that Kelly isn’t your typical mall addict, I still kidded her one sunny Saturday last month when she announced plans to zip on over to the local mall and “shop away the day.” I used all the usual shopaholic quips and comments, asking her politely not to send us to the poorhouse, telling her that if she shopped too long and with too much conviction we might have to take out a second mortgage to pay for her spree. You know, the usual. In true Kelly form, she just shrugged it all off with a smile and a peck on my cheek. But as she left, purse in hand, I saw a little twinkle in her eyes, a look of “If only you knew.” I wasn’t sure if that meant I should worry about our finances or not, but I thought not. As I said, Kelly’s as responsible a shopper as they come. She’s not the least bit frivolous, and probably a better shopper than myself as far as buying things purely on a whim.
I had my own chores to do, errands to run and whatnot, so I eschewed the mall thing and stayed home to work my poor knuckles to the bone, making only short, out of house trips to pick up whatever supplies I needed. I’m not one for malls, anyway. Too many people salivating over the same items, or kids hanging around because they’ve nowhere else to go. Nope…not my scene. I guess in that respect us fellas should THANK our women for wanting to do our shopping for us. If it isn’t Home Depot, we don’t wanna be there.
When Kelly had said she was going to shop away the day, I had no idea she meant just that. She’d left around eleven in the morning, and at four that afternoon she still wasn’t home. All shopaholic joking aside, I was beginning to get worried…and it had nothing to do with finances. When a loved one is overdue, all sorts of scary thoughts crawl through our brains, even some pretty way-out scenarios, one in a million possibilities. The human mind can dredge up some pretty horrible stuff.
But I needn’t have worried. Around four-thirty my lady love finally made her grand appearance. I was in the garage just plugging in the weed-whacker to recharge it, when the garage door hummed to life, opening and letting in the bright afternoon sunlight. Kelly’s Toyota seemed exhausted as it sighed its way into the bay opposite mine. I could swear I heard it say, “Oh, thank God,” as it came to a stop. With an amused chuckle, I thought it must be a MALE Toyota, as a female one would have ENJOYED the day’s shopping spree.
To my surprise, my lovely lady disembarked from her sighing auto with about a half dozen small bags in a single hand. They were each about the size of the tiny plastic bags you get from a greeting card store when you’ve purchased a special occasion card for someone. That was it…just the five or six small, flimsy bags. No huge clothing boxes, no shoe boxes, no unwieldy packages or bags large enough to fit Santa AND his entire team of reindeer in. I was shocked! Five hours of shopping and only those few tiny bags to show for it. I mean, I always knew Kelly was a responsible shopper, but I never expected THIS from a multiple hour mallfest! I was afraid she might even lose her membership card in the W.W.S.O. (women’s worldwide shopping organization)! I even jokingly made that comment to Kel later. She simply smiled and shook her head, rolling her eyes as is her habit when she thinks I’ve said something inane.
After plugging in the thirsty weed-whacker, I stood and walked over to Kelly, who was busy brushing the wrinkles out of her skirt. When she saw me bending over to kiss her, she tilted her head up and let me peck her luscious lips. Her face had a pleased look on it, though not from my kiss. Rather, she was eminently pleased with her modest purchases.
“Are you okay?” I asked with a bewildered look on my face.
“Of course,” she said, looking just as bewildered back at me, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
I looked at the bags in her hands. “Over five hours shopping, and that’s all you’ve got? Oh, wait…let me guess. You have an entire new kitchen in the trunk, right?”
“Wise ass,” she said, “It so happens Kadıköy Escort that I knew what I was shopping for today. I had specific items in mind. For your information, I didn’t browse the mall at all, but went right for the stores I was interested in. So there.”
Now I was even more confused. “You knew exactly what you wanted and where you needed to go…AND went only to those places. So what took five hours? If you only went to certain specific stores…”
Kelly immediately adopted that motherly look all women get when they feel their husbands are in need of some “educating”. She shook her head and smiled, as if she was talking to a six year old.
“If you must know, Mr. Nosey, I spent a good deal of time in those few stores, buying only what I wanted, picking and choosing exactly the right items. I had some very specific ideas of what I was looking for. I wanted to make sure I got something….special. And,” she added, “those stores didn’t have everything I was looking for, so I took a couple of side trips. But between about five different stores – not all of which were at the mall, I remind you – I found everything I was searching for.” Her face actually glowed with how pleased she was with the day’s shopping coup.
I was intrigued now. It sounded as if Kelly was being deliberately vague. “What was so special that you had to take so long making up your mind…and visit so many stores? And what were the other stores…outside the mall, I mean?” My multipart question seemed to fall on deaf ears…or maybe just uncooperative lips.
“My, aren’t we just full of questions today?” She looked directly into my eyes, but said nothing more about it, purposely evading my queries. She was determined to keep her purchases a safely guarded secret. My curiosity got the better of me, and I reached for one of the bags, to peer inside.
Kelly slapped my hand. “There will be none of that,” she said, grinning. “You just get cleaned up for dinner. I’m making some pasta.” Then she leaned up against me, whispering as she kissed my lips, “I want to load you up with carbs so you’ll have lots of energy for later. I think you’ll be needing it.” Her eyes sparkled…always a good sign.
When she kissed me again, I took advantage of the opportunity to once more try to peek into one of the bags. Again I got slapped. “Silly boy…do you think I’m not aware of your sneakiness? You’ll see what’s in the bags. But it’ll have to wait until after dinner. Like I said, I want you loaded up with energy. Trust me, hon, you’ll be happy for the energy. Actually, so will I,” she winked, pulling away from me.
I pouted, hoping for some sympathy, but received none. Kelly only smiled and walked away, winking twice more…once as she turned away, and again as she walked through the doorway leading into the house. I had no idea what my lady love was planning, but I had a deep down feeling I was going to like it. She was rarely secretive like this, and it almost always ended up being for the most delicious reasons. I could only hope such was the case again. My interest was truly piqued. I noticed myself smiling with great anticipation as I watched the door close behind her.
Kelly kept feeding me pasta. She just about forced extra helpings down my gullet. And she made little comments throughout dinner, like “Eat up. The pasta should give you long-lasting energy. Lots of stamina.” And always the added enticing comment, “You’re gonna need it.” She spent more time smiling and winking than I’d seen in a long time from her. She’s always happy and cheerful, but this time she seemed to be beside herself with some sinister glee at whatever she was planning. I would’ve had to be a total dunce not to know it had to have SOMETHING to do with sex. It wasn’t just wishful thinking on my part, either. Kelly was being about as obvious about it as she could possibly be. I found myself squirming in my chair throughout my dinner. Kelly just ate her meal seductively and smirked knowingly, all too aware that she was driving me crazy. She loves to do that.
Finally, dinner was over. But Kelly prolonged my agony. She told me to sit and watch something on television while she cleaned up. She said she didn’t want me all weighed down with food in my stomach, so I should let everything digest while she washed the dishes. But before letting me leave the table she kissed me hard on the mouth, a long, sensual kiss that got my interest…in spades! She whispered in my ear, “The show will start in one hour. Do NOT fall asleep.” When I started to make a comment, she placed an index finger on my lips, stifling it. She withdrew her finger and lightly pecked my lips, emphasizing “One hour…don’t go to sleep.” After that “show starts in an hour” enticement, I ask you, what man could possibly have fallen asleep? Unless, of course, his testosterone has somehow been surreptitiously removed, or neutralized in some insidious way.
I have no clue what I watched on the tube. Although I was staring at that glowing box for the better part of an hour, not one picture or word Ataşehir Escort registered in my brain. My mind was racing with thoughts of what Kelly was planning. Like any normal man, I was concocting all sorts of wild fantasies of hedonistic sex. My mind even produced kinky scenarios, involving items that Kelly might have bought. I’m not even into some of the things my psyche drummed up, but that didn’t matter. My brain was in hyperdrive, and anything I thought of made me swell down there below my navel. I never knew an hour could crawl by so damn slowly.
When she finally finished the dishes and had cleaned the table and kitchen counters (Hmmm…..was she deliberately stalling…trying to make me squirm with anticipation? If so, it was working very well), my lady walked out into the living room, grinning.
“Oh,” she said, “just making sure you haven’t dozed off.”
“No way,” I replied, “I’m too keyed up to see what you’re up to.”
“Good. That’s what I was hoping for. Between the pasta and those raging hormones of yours I think this is going to be LOTS of fun. Now you just stay put. I’m going to go into the bedroom and get ready. No peeking now, or I’ll call the whole thing off. Understood?”
There’s no way I wanted this called off, whatever it was, so I gave her the scout’s honor sign and crossed my heart about seventy-five times…give or take. I think I threw in a few “honest injun” signs, too…I’m not sure. Anyway, Kelly smiled and walked away, her hips swaying delightfully as she headed down the hall to our bedroom.
I sweated and squirmed for the entire fifteen minutes she was gone. But when I next saw her, I squirmed even more. I drooled in my lap. One of my eyeballs may have popped out, I can’t be sure. It was certainly possible since my eyelids had just about withdrawn into my head, making my eyes open wider than they’d ever done before. And if my eye did pop out, I popped it back in quickly, because I did NOT want to miss this!
Emerging from the dimness of the hallway, my luscious Kelly was simply glorious to behold. She strutted boldly into the living room wearing just three things…a pair of sheer, nylon, see-through natural skin-tone panties, barely large enough to cover her pubic triangle; a pair of thigh high stockings, the same natural color and equally as sheer; and a pair of crystal clear, see-through high heeled pumps. Nothing else. My penis nearly tore through my pants. I must’ve looked like a school boy mooning over his sexy, eighth grade teacher. My body wanted to lunge forward and make passionate love to Kelly immediately, but at the same time it was weak and threatening to melt into a puddle of goo. Quite the conundrum.
“You like?” she asked coyly.
I mumbled something unintelligible, but my vigorous nodding got my point across. Kelly laughed.
“Then you’re going to just love the rest of the show,” she said, another wink heading my way. That was when she held up the five bags from her shopping spree. With a grin she jiggled them and said, “I’m going to try on, right in front of you, all these sexy stockings I bought today. Then, dear boy, I’m going to let you look at them up close, touch them, kiss them, feel them all over you…each pair, one by one. Since you showed me not too long ago what a twisted little stocking slut you really are, I figured you just might enjoy this. And I’m sure I will, too. I spent all day finding these for you. That’s what I did for YOU. After you enjoy these sexy items on me, YOU’RE going to do for ME! And do, and do, and do. Oh, yes…that pasta had better kick in big time.”
Slowly, tantalizingly, she walked – no, sashayed, bold and brazen as you please – up to me, standing directly in front of me, hands on hips. I could only stare. I would’ve drooled again, I’m sure, but it appeared all my drool was used up for the moment.
“Touch me,” Kelly whispered, “feel me all over. Run your hands anywhere you want, nuzzle anyplace you like. Smell the nylon….and me. Do whatever you like, baby…Carte Blanche.” She leaned forward so that her free swinging breasts dangled hypnotically in front of my face, the nipples hardened. “Come on, honey…just feel this smooth, sexy nylon. Touch it and kiss it. I’m all yours. And when you’re through, I’ve got even sexier nylons to try on for you.”
One hand reached for a silky thigh. The other found the skimpy panties and burrowed beneath them. Kelly came forward and straddled my legs, leaning close. My face nuzzled in her cleavage, flared nostrils inhaling her scent. From there my mind turned to mush….but that didn’t stop my hands and mouth from busying themselves all over my sexy lady. Nor did my entranced state lessen the throbbing between my legs. I sighed and moaned as I sniffed and touched and kissed every part of Kelly within reach…which was every succulent of her. As I kissed and licked Kelly’s ample mams – taking special delight in her stiffened, pleading nipples – my hands roamed both nylon and flesh. She flipped her long, blonde hair up and over her head, Maltepe Escort so that it then cascaded down over my head and shoulders, and down my back. As my hungry mouth roamed at will from breast to breast, it seemed as if her golden tresses were alive, imprisoning my head, pulling it forward, trapping my hot lips against her heaving bosom.
My hands enjoyed her nyloned thighs and the short, soft curls that called to me and enticed my fingers within the confines of the gossamer panties. They wanted to explore everywhere at once. Kelly’s sighs were like music to my ears even through the pounding of my own quickened pulse. As my mouth was busy on her nipples, I found myself gasping heavily through my nose, my chest heaving in rapid, shallow bursts. Kelly’s chest likewise heaved, but her hands tight around my head held my sucking mouth firmly in place against the softness of her chest.
I rubbed her warming mound beneath the silky nylon of her panties with a slow, deliberate hand. My other eager paw slipped under the larger bit of nylon covering her left cheek. The sensation of her soft ass flesh against my palm and the smooth nylon gliding along the back of my hand was an incredible treat. I squeezed her cheek in my building passion. But it was the sensation down lower, where my left hand had found her lightly carpeted treasure beneath moistening nylon, that most aroused my senses…and led to confining discomfort between my legs.
While my searching fingers had happily explored Paradise, Kelly swooned, bringing her hands around to my jaw and forcing my head upward so she could kiss me passionately on the mouth. That kiss took my breath away. Throughout that mind-melting kiss, her hips swayed at first, and then she climbed up on the sofa, still straddling my legs. Never once removing her mouth from mine, she started rotating her hips in a circle, forcing my hands on her sex and her behind to try to keep up. Not to worry…I managed admirably.
Suddenly, Kelly took her mouth away from mine, and with glistening eyes locked on my pleading ones, she whispered to me, “Not so fast, hon. Let’s take our time, make this last all night. But, here’s the deal. For every sexy stocking ensemble I try on for you, you have to remove one piece of clothing. So, off comes the shirt!” Immediately, hands that had moments earlier been holding my head willing captive began clawing at my shirt, tugging it from beneath the waistband of my pants and ripping it up and off of me. “There,” she said, “much better.”
Reaching down, Kelly removed my hands from beneath her panties. I could see she was flushed with excitement, eager to get on with things. It was also apparent that she wanted to entice and titillate me further…get on with the “show.” As she moved away from the sofa, she winked at me yet again…but my eyes were focused on the wet patch on her brand new, sexy panties.
Kelly walked seductively, hips swaying, over to the chair. Slowly, oh so slowly, she bent down, slipping the nylon panties down, inch by inch, over the cheeks of her ass, down her hosed thighs and calves, off her feet. Once on the floor, she kicked them with precise aim back at me. They landed in my lap. I picked them up and held them to my lips, kissing them as I watched my lady love turn and sit on the chair, kicking off her pumps. She watched me nuzzle her panties for a moment, smiling with satisfaction, and then began slowly slipping off her stockings.
When she lifted one leg and started sliding the first stocking down thigh and calf, I watched as if in a hypnotic state. Slowly the nylon glided down her perfect skin, almost as reluctant to relinquish its hold on Kelly’s succulent flesh as I myself usually am. But it was the time between completing the stocking removal on the first leg and beginning the baring of the second, that most captured my attention. With the already bared leg splayed to one side, she lifted her other leg and seductively stroked the sheer nylon with her hands, up and down her thigh and calf. At first I watched this erotic play, but then my eyes caught a glimpse of her downy treasure as she raised her leg up high. It glistened wetly, calling to me, pulling me to it. For a moment, sexy hosiery was forgotten as I stared at Kelly’s most enticing physical asset.
Always aware, Kelly noticed the objective of my glassy gaze. The leg she had raised in the air she now rotated to the side, spreading her legs wider for my benefit. Putting her foot on the chair, she slowly removed the stocking down to her ankle. Then she slid her foot toward her again, placing it directly in front of her naked pussy. She slipped the stocking over her heel and toes and then proceeded to rub it tantalizingly along her shiny slit. I was so held captive by those seductive acts that I wouldn’t have heard a canon going off directly beside me.
Kelly rubbed the stocking between her legs for several minutes – between them, along her inner thighs, over her sparse triangle and along her belly. I watched every minute move. I felt as if my jaw was hanging open and perhaps my tongue was lolling out of it, but I had no power to alter those circumstances, even if I’d wanted to. My gorgeous wife was totally nude, sitting provocatively on a chair not more than ten feet away from me…and my eyes feasted on the sweetest part of her.
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