Free at Last Ch. 01

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Amateur

Warning: This is going to be a bit darker than my other stories. I do have a dark side and I’m not going to ignore it all the time. There wont be any sex for awhile so don’t cry about it in the comments section either ­čÖé But stick with it if you want to. It will have a happy ending.

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Jackson was woken in the middle of the night by the blood curdling scream. His wife next to him sat up and pulled the blanket up to her chest and clutched it in fear.

“What the hell was that!?” She shouted at Jackson.

“Fuck if I know…” Jackson said.

“Go find out!” She yelled and shoved him. He got out of bed and put on his robe and slippers. The screaming could still be heard. It was loud and drawn out, full of pain.

He stepped out of his apartment labeled ‘Landlord’ several of his tenants had stuck their heads out of their doors. A few asked him what was going on but he had no answer for their questions. Some doors had parents looking into the hallway with their frightened children grasping their legs or night clothes. Some wives held the children while their husbands investigated but everyone looked scared and confused.

Only one door had not been opened and Jackson knew that to be Nikolai’s apartment. He wondered if the screaming was coming from his room but he doubted that. Nikolai was always very quiet and kept to himself. Never made problems with the other tenants or Jackson himself. Always paid his rent on time.

Now that he thought about it Jackson hadn’t talked to Nikolai more than three or four times over the 5 years he had lived there. Everyone continued to look up and down the hallway for the source of the screaming. Or at least an explanation. Every door was open now except for Nikolai’s.

Everyone looked at the only unopened door. The screaming was beginning to quiet now and it was only the occasional cry of agony, rather than the long, drawn out, glass shattering screams. Jackson pulled his robe around him tighter and walked towards the door. A few men and women stepped out of their apartments and followed him but most stayed inside. But all eyes stayed on him.

He looked behind him nervously and was slightly comforted by the large men and concerned looking women who backed him up. He knocked roughly on the door.

“Nikolai? Whats going on? Are you alright.” He shouted, to be heard over the screams that had stopped suddenly.

“Nikolai I’m coming in.” He said. He turned the door knob but it was locked. He patted the pockets in his robe as if he expected to find his keys there.

“Shit.” He said. He ran back to his apartment and grabbed the keyring that held the keys to all the apartments. He searched for Nikolai’s as he ran back to the door. By the time he got there he had found it and shoved the key in the lock.

The lock clicked as it unlocked and the small group pushed its way in with Jackson in the lead. He looked around the living room and it was all dark, no lights on at all. The room was clean and held only one or two pictures of Nikolai and another man Jackson had seen a few times with Nikolai.

The kitchen was empty and dark but Nikolai’s door was closed. Jackson moved towards it and the group of men and women followed behind him closely.

He tried the door knob but it was locked.

“I don’t have a key to the doors inside the apartments. They are down in the office.” Jackson sighed.

“You mind if I kick it down?” A large man from the back said. Jackson remembered he was a fire fighter.

“Go ahead.” Jackson moved aside and the man stepped forward. He knocked on the door and waited a moment.

“I’m kicking the door down move away from it.” He shouted. He waited a second longer and when no reply was heard he stepped back and kicked the door near the knob. The door splintered a bit and he backed up again and this time rammed his shoulder into the weakened wood. The door split and he fell through into the bedroom.

The bedroom was spotless. The bed freshly made. The lights were off in here as well and there was a single piece of paper on the bed. The only light in the apartment came from the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar and the light was on casting a line of light onto the bed.

Jackson moved towards the bathroom door and pushed it open.

“Oh shit!” He said. He covered his mouth with his hand and tried to hold back the vomit rising in his throat. He bent over and turned away from the bathroom.

“Oh god, Someone call and ambulance. Shit. Don’t look.” He waved a hand at a woman who approached the bathroom. She swallowed and pushed the door open more. She immediately turned and vomited. Jackson still tried to hold it down but was struggling.

Someone ran back into the hallway and told someone to call an ambulance.

The man who had kicked down the door walked towards the bed. He picked up the neatly folded paper that sat in the center of the perfectly made bed.

It read only one thing.

‘I’m sorry.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

‘What the hell?’ He thought Ankara bayan escort to himself.

The constant steady beep beep invaded the soothing darkness of his mind. He slowly opened his eyes and winced at the brightness of the lights.

He thought for a moment maybe he had made it into heaven despite what he had done. Then he felt the itching burning on his arms.

He groaned and tried to swallow the dry, foul taste in his mouth.

‘Why? Please god, Why?’ He thought. He forced his eyes open and looked around.

He could tell he was in a hospital by the I.V. Hooked into his right hand. The sheets where crisp and clean. They were unwrinkled and folded back neatly. There was a chair sitting across the room in the corner under the T.V. That was turned on but was muted. It looked like it hadn’t been sat in.

He noticed then that his arms and legs were strapped to the railing of the bed. The ones around his wrists were loose enough to allow the bandages that covered them to breathe but tight enough so he couldn’t slip out of them. Or even move much. Not that he could. He tried to flex his hand but his fingers didn’t respond to his brains command.

“You’re lucky you survived.” Said a voice from the doorway.

He turned and saw an older doctor with a clipboard walk in.

“You can’t be lucky when you fail at something. It just doesn’t work like that.” Nikolai said, His voice was dry and hoarse and he was thirsty.

“Even if you try and kill yourself?” The doctor said and checked some of the machines next to the bed.

“Especially when you….. do that.” Nikolai swallowed. He was embarrassed at what he had tried to do.

“Well then, WE, are lucky you survived.” The doctor smiled and walked out of the room. Nikolai sighed and tried to flex his other hand. It only twitched in response but it was better then in right hand.

A nurse walked in and fiddled with the I.V. And Nikolai soon relaxed and the pain and itching in his arms became less. Despite what he did Nikolai didn’t like pain.

“Could I get a drink of water please?” He asked the red headed nurse.

“Just a sec, hon.” She smiled and left the room. She came back with a paper cup filled with ice chips. She put some in his mouth and they melted slowly. Nikolai felt better when his mouth had been rid of the gross taste. But he still wanted to brush his teeth.

‘I shouldn’t have to brush my teeth now.’ He thought to himself. ‘ How pathetic do you have to be to fail at killing yourself.’ he laughed at himself.

“Just to check to make sure this background information is correct. Your Nikolai Petrov?” She asked. He nodded his head mutely.

“29 years old?” He nodded silently again.

“Any family members or friends we should call?” She asked.

” I have no one.” He said. She looked at him and frowned

‘He looks so….Alone.’ She thought.

“Any allergies we should know about?” He shook his head.

The nurse went on for a few more minutes about basic things they had to know. Soon she said she was done and she left. Nikolai was glad. He didn’t want to be around anyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nikolai sat in the wheelchair across from the blonde woman in a suit. He looked around nervously and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His arms draped lazily over the arms, settling his hands in his lap. He tried to occupy himself with flexing his right arm which still had not responded since he had woken up three days ago.

The blonde just stared at him like she expected something. He glanced up at her once or twice but said nothing.

” You know why you’re here, correct?” She asked.

He was caught off guard by her question and shifted uncomfortably again.

“Yes, I’m assuming you’re a shrink.” He said.

” Yes, You can talk to me about anything you want. Nothing you say will leave this room. We can talk about your attempt or we can talk about something not related to it at all. Whatever you feel comfortable with.” She said.

” And if I don’t want to talk?” Nikolai glared at her.

” Then you don’t have to.” She shrugged. She fiddled with the pen in her hand but eventually set it down on the notepad sitting on top of her crossed legs.

” What the hell do I call you, Henstridge?” Nikolai laughed.

” Who is Henstridge?” The blonde asked.

” Oh come on, You know.” she stared at him blankly.

“Natasha Henstridge. From the ‘Species’ movies?” Nikolai said.

” Do you watch a lot of movies?” she asked.

” We are not talking about me we are talking about you, Henstridge.” He said.

” My name is Dr. Nelson.” She said.

” Too late I’m hooked on Henstridge now.” Nikolai knew he was being an asshole but he didn’t want to talk to any shrink.

She sighed and wrote something down.

” I would prefer if you didn’t.” She said.

” Should have said something when I first called you that. Now it has to happen.” He shrugged. She sighed again.

” When can I leave?” Nikolai asked.

” You’re not being held here against your will, You’re free to leave Escort bayan Ankara whenever you like.” Henstridge said.

“Good.” He said. ” But I can’t exactly push my own damn wheelchair, Henstridge. Help a cripple out.” He said sarcastically.

She stood and walked towards the door. She poked her head out the door and said something Nikolai couldn’t hear. He glanced at the gray skirt pulled tight over her ass.

‘Not to bad.’ he thought to himself.

” Were you just looking at my-” Henstridge swallowed angrily. Nikolai laughed.

” Your not my type, Sweety.” He said.

” What is your type.” Henstridge asked.

” Tall, gorgeous, and with a dick.” Nikolai said with a straight face. Henstridge nodded and moved to the notepad to write something down.

A male nurse came in and moved behind Nikolai to push the wheelchair. His broad shoulders stooped low as he leaned on the handles of the wheelchair. His brown hair got into his eyes and he used one hand to brush it back onto his head.

” Like him.” Nikolai jerked his head up towards the nurse. The nurse, who hadn’t heard their conversation, got a confused look on his face but Henstridge only smiled.

” Doctor patient confidentiality, sorry.” She shrugged when he gave her a questioning look. Nikolai frowned.

” It’s no fun if you play along with me.” He said as he was wheeled out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nikolai sat on his bed with nothing to do. He had no friends or family to visit him. No books or music to entertain him. Nothing good was even on T.V. His arms burned and itched like crazy and he still attempted to flex or move them. His right hand still didn’t respond and his left still only twitched.

The nurse came in as he struggled with the bandaged limbs.

“I talked to our physical therapist here and you start on Monday, He says due to your injuries you might need surgery on your arms. You cut through a lot of tendons.” The nurse said as she checked her chart.

“Oh is THAT what all that pain was. Huh. I thought it was deaths sweet, but tight, embrace whisking me away peacefully.” He growled at her.

“No wonder no one comes to visit you if you treat everyone with an attitude like that.” She said and stepped outside.

Nikolai felt like he had been punched in the chest. The overwhelming sorrow washed over him. Much like that dreadful night. He thought of the face of his lover.

‘Ex-lover’ he reminded himself.

He moved so he was laying down and tried to sleep. But his dreams were filled with nightmarish creatures who tried to bite at his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nikolai felt like he was being watched.

He woke up and glanced at the clock on the wall. He had slept only a half hour. He rolled his eyes.

‘This day will never end will it?’ He thought to himself. He turned and looked towards the door expecting the nurse again. She frequently checked on him, even though his room sat right in front of the nurses station.

‘ Suicide watch, oh what fun.’ He thought sarcastically to himself.

But instead he found a little girl. Her hair was dull and thin. She was in normal clothing but had a hospital bracelet on her arm. In those frail tiny arms she held a small stuffed bear. Her eyes had dark circles around them and she looked thin and weak on her feet. But her eyes had a bright green child like glow, that defied the obvious illness that plagued the girl.

” Hi.” She said. Her voice was small but still healthy.

” Hi.” Nikolai said.

” I’m Ana.” she said. ” That’s short for Anastasia.” She said proudly.

Nikolai sat for a moment and tried to lean forward enough to see around the corner of the door to see who this little girl belonged to.

” I’m Nikolai. Its short for Nikolai.” He said.

” That’s funny. And that’s a funny name.” She said.

” Its Russian. So is Anastasia.” He said.

” Oh.” She said. She moved into the room more and dragged the large chair from under the T.V. And up to his bedside. It looked like it took her a lot of effort and when she finally climbed up onto the chair and sat down she had a thin coat of sweat on her forehead.

” Why are you here?” She asked.

Nikolai hesitated.

‘ What the hell do I tell her? That the world is shit and I tried to kill myself?’ He thought to himself.

” I…I was hurt.” He said vaguely.

” How?” She asked.

” Forget about me lets talk about you.” Nikolai was getting pissed.

” Why are you here?” He asked trying to get the subject off him.

” My daddy says I have tumors in my head that are making me sick.” She said. She didn’t seemed phased by what she had just said but Nikolai felt like an ass anyways.

” Oh…..uh….well….well where is your daddy?” He asked. Hoping to get this child away from him.

” Hes at work. He has to work a lot ‘cuz my doctors give me medicine but its real expensive.” she said. “he tries to visit me but he has to work most of the time cuz my mommy cant work cuz shes not around anymore.” She said. She hugged the bear tighter Bayan escort Ankara to her chest.

” Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t have a mommy when I was growing up either.” Nikolai said, He didn’t know why he was telling her this.

“Really? Was your daddy nice?” she asked.

” I didn’t have a daddy either.” he said.

” No mommy OR daddy? Who took care of you?” She seemed surprise.

” I grew up with a different family. Who took me in.” Nikolai said.

” Oh. Where they nice?” Ana asked.

” Yes. Very nice.” Nikolai lied.

” That’s good.” Ana said and looked down at her bear.

” This is Monty.” She said and held the bear out to him.

” Hes cute. Did your daddy get him for you?” Nikolai asked. He didn’t feel angry or depressed or hopeless when he was around Ana.

” Yeah, He always makes me feel better when I don’t feel good. He’s magic.” She whispered the last part to him after glancing around to make sure no one heard.

” Lucky you to have a magic bear.” Nikolai laughed.

” Yeah, I don’t let other people take him though. If they find out hes magic they might not give him back.” She explained.

” Then why did you tell me? What if I try and take him?” Nikolai pointed out.

” You wouldn’t do that.” Ana said.

” How do you know? You just met me! You shouldn’t go around trusting random strangers with your magic bear’s secret.” Nikolai joked.

” But you’re not a random stranger. Monty says you’re a good man and I should be friends with you. Can we be friends?” Ana asked.

Nikolai didn’t know why, but he agreed.

” Sure we can.” He nodded his head.

” Yay!” Ana shouted and threw her arms up. Her right one still grasping Monty.

” Ana, leave that man alone and come on. Julie is here and shes going to read a story to the other kids. Hurry up or you’ll miss it.” A nurse said.

” I have to go. Julie comes here sometimes and reads to us, bye!” She shouted before she ran out the door. Monty bouncing behind her as she ran.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nikolai stared at the boring news report on T.V. He sighed and flipped it off.

‘Try and stop the suicidal guy from killing himself? Yeah lets just leave him alone and bored. THAT sounds like a good idea.’ Nikolai thought sourly.

As he looked around the room for the 18th time to find something to entertain him, Ana walked through the open door with Monty hugged to her chest.

” Hi Nikolai!” She said and climbed into the chair that was still next to his bedside.

” Hello, Ana.” Nikolai smiled at the little girl.

“What are you doing?” Ana asked.

” Nothing.” He shrugged, and glanced around the empty room.

” That sounds boring.” She wrinkled her nose.

” Trust me, it is.” He laughed.

” why don’t you do something then?” She asked.

” I don’t have anything to do. There’s nothing good on T.V.” he said and nodded his head towards the television.

” Doesn’t anyone come to visit you?” She asked and turned her head to the side.

Nikolai felt tears filling his eyes.

” No.” He said shortly. He wanted her to leave now.

” Why not? People should visit you when you’re in the hospital. To make you feel better.” she said and fiddled with Monty in her lap.

” I don’t have anyone to visit me. I’m alone.” He said and tried to shift in his bed but it was difficult without the use of his arms.

” You’re not dating anyone? My daddy tried to date someone after my mommy but they didn’t like each other enough, that’s what daddy told me.” Ana asked.

‘ Jeez, what’s with this kid and complicated questions?’ Nikolai thought to himself.

” Well no, I don’t like girls. They’re yucky.” He said and smiled and nudged her. She giggled.

” Neither does my daddy.” She said.

‘ Oh, that makes things much easier.’ He thought.

” So you aren’t dating a man either?” She asked. Nikolai swallowed.

” I did. Not anymore though.” Nikolai thought of his old love and felt the pain and hurt wash over him again.

” What happened?” Ana asked.

” Its not important.” Nikolai shook his head.

” Did you two have a fight?” Ana asked.

‘Do the questions ever stop?’ Nikolai thought to himself.

” He didn’t like me very much anymore so we thought it would be better if we didn’t see each other.” Nikolai cleared his throat and tried to hold back the tears.

” Oh, I think he should still come to visit you.” Ana said. ” You shouldn’t be all alone.”

Nikolai smiled. ” Thanks. So what are you going to do today?” Nikolai tried to change the subject.

” Nothing, Julie said she couldn’t come today.” Ana shrugged. ” Can you tell me a story?” Ana’s eyes lit up.

” I don’t really know any stories that you would like.” Nikolai thought for any sort of story he could use to entertain the child.

” I like all kinds of stories, please?” She whined.

” Uh, Okay. Do you know the story about…” He thought harder for a story. ” Princess Anastasia?” he remembered the story had interested him when he had been in school.

” No.” Ana smiled and wiggled eagerly in her chair.

” Anastasia was a Russian princess. Her father was the king of Russia and he was a good king.” Nikolai started. Ana hugged Monty closer to her chest and her eyes were wide with interest.

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