WHAT HAPPENS TO THE FORESKINS

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Do you know what they do with the foreskin <a href="https://twitter.com/ByCasinoResmii" <a href="https://twitter.com/ByCasinoResmii" rel='dofollow' bycasino giriş title=”bycasino giris”>bycasino giris rel=’dofollow’ title=”bycasino”>bycasino after a circumcision?
Ans: They sell them to gay men for chewing gum.

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sex joke_(16)

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Blowjob

Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian <a href="https://twitter.com/ByCasinoGuncel1" rel='dofollow' <a href="https://twitter.com/ByCasinoGuncel1" rel='dofollow' bycasino giriş title=”bycasino giris”>bycasino giris title=”bycasino”>bycasino shoe?
A. They’re called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

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joke_(17)

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Cumshots

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A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack.

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A Young Couple On Honeymoon

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A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term “doing the laundry” to use in place of “having bycasino sex.”
This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept. Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They “did the laundry” 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night the bycasino giris new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, “Can we do the laundry again?” but she was very tired.
She told him that she just couldn’t bycasino giriş do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning. A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn’t unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and “do the laundry” with him again.
She gently shook him and said, “Honey, I’m sorry I denied you… We can do the laundry again if you want,”
He replied, “That’s ok… It was a small load… I did it by hand.”

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Cook for Cock

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While tending to her housework, a woman asks her husband

“Will you please fix the cabinet in the kitchen? It’s been barely holding on to it’s hinges for weeks now.”

He replies “Does it say ‘carpenter’ on my forehead?”

Surprised, she lets it go and returns to her housework. As she begins to clean the bathroom, bycasino she notices that the lever is getting stuck. She yells from the bathroom,

“Honey, the toilet’s lever is stuck again! Can you fix it?”

She comes into the living room to find him reading the paper. He responds to the puzzled look on her face bycasino giris with…

“Do I have “plumber” written on my forehead?”

The next day, her husband comes home from work to find the Cabinet fixed, the toilet fixed, and a chipper spouse making the bed in the master bedroom.

“Who fixed bycasino giriş everything?”

“A kind young gentleman came by today, said he was a handyman and asked if I needed anything done around the house. When he finished, he said I couldn’t pay him with cash because I don’t keep it around the house. He mentioned that was fine and that I could pay him by sucking his dick or cooking him a good meal.”

“What did you cook for him?”

“Does it say “chef” of my forehead?”

skuze me.
: )

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Funny Sex Joke.

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WHAT’S BIG,BLACK AND FULL OF SEAMEN?`

A Submarine.xD

_______________________________________
Its bycasino very cheesy I know but I’m very bored. Idk bycasino giris how to fill up the 5000 characters so I’m gonna sing a Chrristmas Carol!

Deck bycasino giriş the halls with balls of holly,
FALALALALALALALALA,
Tis the season to be jolly,
FALALALALALALALALA,
Dawn we now our gay apparell,
FALALALALALALALALALA,
Sing the ancient yultide carol,
FALALALALALALALALAAA.

hApPy ChRiStMaS yOu LoT.

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Margie’s degradation. Part 1

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Ass

Now and again of a night, while my wife and I were in bed and playing, and when I had her really worked up and verging on orgasm, she would moan and sigh, “Oh God, you can do anything that you want with me.”

It was on one of these occasions that I half jokingly told her, “O.K. I’ll bring a couple of sex maniacs to work you over.”

I don’t know what she really thought, probably that it was just a joke; anyhow, she just laughed and said, “well it’s just as well that  you don’t know any sex maniacs.”

“Well actually, I do,” I replied. “There’s two guys who live over on the south side of town, I chat on the net with them; they’re both really depraved, and you wouldn’t believe the way that they talk about women.”

“Really!” she exclaimed, sounding a bit shocked, “what do they say?”

I told her that they speak of women as if they’re just filth to be abused, and I told her that they talk about doing the most vile and disgusting things.

Again she wanted more detail and I think that it excited her as I made up a bit of spicy detail for her.

Anyway,after a bit of talk, the subject lapsed, and we got on with our games.

It was some weeks later when I again had Margie in a state of sexual ecstasy; she was signing and moaning as I worked her cunt.

“Oh God,” she lustfully moaned, “do whatever you want with me.”

“I’d give you to those guys I told you about if they were here,” I half whispered to her.

“Ooooh the way that I feel I’d even let you do it,” she moaned as she writhed and panted in lustful desire.

“You’re tempting me to set you up for them,” I excitedly told her.

She said nothing in response, but I was getting so worked up myself, that after a pause, I told her that I was going to tell them that they could use her one night.

Still she said nothing, and I wondered whether she’d even heard what I’d said.

The next day I messaged those guys on the net, and told them exactly what had taken place with my wife, and exactly what had been said. I fully expressed my thoughts and desires, and told them I was wondering whether it really would be possible to push my wife into a meeting with them.

The guys soon messaged back, thrilled at the thought of something involving my wife maybe being possible.

I told them that I’d have to work on Margie a bit more and get a feel for whether I could really bring something about. I hadn’t previously shown them any porn photos of Margie, but now I let them have what few that I had. We discussed how it could be done, and they suggested that if I got her to the point of being ready for something, they would be able to come just as soon as it took to drive from their place.

A few nights later, Margie and I were in bed fucking and playing, when she, out of the blue, asked whether I’d told my sleazy Bahis siteleri friends about her.

Fuck!  I was thrilled; not only did this show that she’d taken in what I’d said that previous night, but here she was actually raising the subject herself.

My heart was pounding with excitement as I told her that we’d been discussing her, and what they might do with her.This seemed to really thrill her and turn her on, and she wanted all the detail of what we’d said about her.

It’s so exciting talking about it, she told me, but then she went on to say that it could never be anything more than just talk.

With this, my eager expectations took a bit of a nose dive, but I nevertheless was determined to keep pushing her.

The next day I reported to the guys all that Margie had said. I assured the guys that I was going to keep working on her, and then one of the guys suggested that, seeing as she admitted getting excited by talking about it, they should write a message to her, and perhaps that would excite her.

I gave them her private email address, and that night after dinner, she opened her emails, and excitedly called me over. “Look at the email that I received” she said with eyes open wide and a grin on her face.

“Hello Margie you sexy little slut”, the email started off. It then went on to tell her how they wanted to fuck her and have her suck them off. It was full of lewd and explicit details of how they would go about it, and how she would go about it.

All the way through the message they called her a slut, a filthy whore, a cock loving cunt, and other filthy names.

She was so excited that I didn’t waste any time and had her in bed and playing while she was so worked up.

The little slut was really on heat, sucking my cock, licking my balls and going crazy as I fingered and licked her cunt.

Wild thoughts of getting those guys here were running through my mind and after some minutes I told her to wait a minute as I grabbed the phone and went out of the room. Steve answered straight away. “If you and Tony can come, the slut will be ready for you,” I told him. “We’ll be there in half an hour,” was his eager reply.

 

I went back into the bedroom, and Margie asked, “where have you been?”

“Oh I just had to do something,” I replied. She saw me pick up the phone, surely she knows what I was up to, I thought to myself.

“And did you do what you wanted?” she asked.

I answered “yes,” and half expected her to start carrying on, but she said nothing, and I had now gotten into the 69 position again, and we started working lustfully on each other again.

I was nearly going crazy with lust. Would this actually happen. Surely Margie knows what I’d taken the phone for. It seemed to good to be true, and yet here she was not saying anything.

What Casino siteleri would she do when Steve and Tony turned up, that was the big question. Should I let them force their way with her and rape her if she’s not compliant. If I had her tied up that would be the shot.

“Would you like to be tied up?” I asked her, feeling a bit odd about it as we hadn’t done any bondage for ages.

“Yes alright,” Margie agreed, “so long as you’re going to be here looking after me,” she added.

A thrill ran through my body – yes, she certainly knows what’s afoot.

I quickly got the equipment from the wardrobe. Shackles, cords, and the light frame that I’d made to fasten behind the bedhead. She lay there docilely as I secured her wrists and ankles.

Arms comfortably outstretched to either side. I padded several pillows beneath her hips, and raised her spread legs into the air and almost back over her head, then secured the cords with her in that position.

Her cunt, fully exposed, was gaping slightly, and so very juicy and slippery.

“What about a gag and blindfold?” I suggested.

“Good idea,” Margie responded, “it won’t be so embarrassing if I can’t see or say anything.

“Well not until they want to fuck your mouth I told her.

This was unbelievable. My dreams come true.

I’d only just finished in time, as there was a knock on the door.

Tony and Steve were strangers to me, as we’d only ever talked on the net.

I quickly stressed again that this time around, it would only be regular sex, fucking ass, cunt and mouth, anything else they wanted, but no shit, piss or filth this time around.

I led them into the bedroom where Margie was gagged, blindfolded, and legs wide apart, cunt and ass available, and totally helpless.

“Oh fuck!” the guys both exclaimed. “Just look at that. Fuck meat all prepared and ready.”

The guys wasted no time, both stripping off and then Steve climbing onto the bed and his hand immediately exploring her dripping cunt. “Hello Margie, you filthy fucking whore.”

They mauled her body all over, cunt, ass, tits, thighs, belly, and all the time telling her what a whore, a slut, and a cunt she was.

After some minutes, Tony knelt astride her head and pulled the blindfold and the gag off, and immediately plunged his beautiful lust swollen cock into her mouth. She began eagerly sucking him, looking up into his face as she did so.

By and large I was just keeping out of their way and letting them have free rein with my wife, however I couldn’t help but get close to watch as she sucked Tony’s cock. What a beautiful site, her lips circled around his thick cock and slowly easing her mouth back and forth over it. Just occasionally she would pull right off it so that she could give the head a lick and Deneme bonusu taste any precum which might be oozing out.

“The fucking cunt is certainly good at cock sucking Tony enthused. She was so good that the guys had to regularly take turns at her mouth to avoid cumming too soon.

After a while Steve said that it was time to untie the bitch so that they could start fucking it, but Tony delayed that until he’d taken a series of good photos. “I’m going to spread her pics all over the net and give lots of her personal details. “What’s your last name by the way,” he said to back up what he’d said. I told him and also answered a variety of other personal questions that he had. “It would be great if she became known locally as a whore and it ruined your marriage,” he said with a grin. I didn’t give a fuck, I was so filled with lust.

Having untied her, they got Margie to kneel on all fours so that they could spit roast her with one fucking her cunt, while the other fucked her mouth, regularly swapping positions.

“Have you ever had three cocks up you at the same time cunt?” Tony asked. Then, Margie having replied in the negative, they got me to lie on the bed so that Margie could get on top of me with my cock up her ass, then the guys got up her cunt and down her throat so that Margie had the three of our cocks in her at the same time.

Once again as I’d gotten close up to watch the guy’s cocks sliding into my wife’s mouth, now I did the same watching their cocks enter her cunt. There’s nothing so wonderful as seeing your wife’s cunt all wet and juicy, and seeing another guys cock, hard and lust gorged with precum oozing as it enters your wife’s cunt.

I was enjoying that view when Steve laughingly said to Tony, “why support wives of our own when we can fuck Bob’s whore.”

The whole time during the orgy, Margie’s face was quite flushed, and she was panting for breath each time a cock left her mouth. She was obviously giving everything to satisfy the guys as they used her to satisfy their lust

The whole session must have lasted about two hours before they both filled her cunt with their cum. By that time it was getting quite late, and the guys headed off home. “Thanks for letting us use your wife,” they told me with broad grins on their faces.

We closed the door on them, and Margie turned to me smiling broadly, “now look what you’ve done,” she laughed.

“Oh darling, you were so wonderful,” I exclaimed as I held her tight and kissed her passionately.

We got on the bed and I began fucking her, “oh fuck, what a slop of cum your cunt is,” I exclaimed, “it feels beautiful fucking you when you’re already full of cum.”

The next night after we’d had dinner, we each opened our laptops, and Margie immediately exclaimed with glee, “another message from Tony and Steve.”

“Hi cunt,” they wrote. “Last night was just the start of your life as a whore. We’ll be coming around regularly to fuck and abuse your body, and we’ll be bringing other guys to fuck you as well.

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Hiç aklıma gelmezdiİsmim Hakan Bursa’da özel güvenlik görevlisi olarak çalışıyorum,1,80 boyunda evli ve 35 yaşındayım.Benim hikayem bir oyun sitesinde Müge isimli bir baynla tanışmamla başladı.Müge ile bir süre oyunda sohbet ettik ve daha sonra MSN den yazışmaya başladık.Müge İstanbul’da yaşayan evli ve benim yaşlarda sarışın, MSN sohbetleri sırasında kamerada gördüğüm kadarıyla güzel bir kadındı.Zaman ilerledikçe samimiyetimiz arttı artık herşeyi rahatlıkla konuşuyorduk tabi ki seks konularını da.Ben birgün Müge’yi Bursa ya davet ettim hemen kabul edince hem şaşırdım hemde çok sevindim.Hafta sonunda birgün için sözleştik ve Müge yi terminalden arabamla aldım açıkçası çok güzel bir kadındı zayıf,vücudu ölçülü hele göğüsleri çok harika görünüyordu. biraz dolaşmak için Uludağ a çıktık orada arabayı bir Alanya travesti yere bırakıp ormanlık alan içinde gezinmeye başladık, bir süre sonra göz göze geldik ve ben hemen Müge’nin dudaklarına yapıştım onun verdiği karşılık daha da ateşliydi adeta dudaklarımı ısırıyordu ben hemen elbisesinin altından göğüslerine ulaştım ve parçalarcasına okşamaya başladım,dudaklarını bırakıp göğüslerini öpmeye başladım artık dayanamıyordum aşağı doğru inip eteğinin altından amını yalamaya başladım iyice sulanmıştı amı ikimizde kendimizden geçmiştik müge iyice başımı amına yaslayınca dilimi amının içinde gezdirmeye başladım bir sağ tarafa bir sola tarafa çeviriyordum dilimi iyice çıldırmıştı müge birden beni itekledi ve önüme eğilerek benim 18.cm lik aleti aldı ağzına öyle bir yalamaya Alanya travestileri başladı ki ben kopmuştum artık iyice dayanamaz hale gelmiştim hemen müge nin arkasına geçtim ve amına yavaşça girmeye başladım benim gibi o da hızlanmamı istiyordu dururmuyum hiç ben tempoyu iyice arttırdım her gidiş gelişimde müge nin çıkardığı sesler de artıyordu iyice hızlanmamı istedi bende ne varsa hepsini soktum amına çıkın seslerden artık boşalacağını anladım bende boşalmak üzereydim bir süre sonra ikimiz aynı anda boşaldık müge çok hoşuna gittiğini söyledi bende merak etme aşkım daha devamı var dedim ve oradan daha önce ayarladığım arkadaşımın evine gittik bi duş aldıktan sonra oturma odasındaki kanepeye geçtik ve hemen sevişmeye başladık ben müge nin bütün vücudunu yalayıp amına Travesti Alanya doğru yanaştım ve burayı hiç durmadan 10 dakika yaladım yeter artık sıra bende dedi ve beni sırt üstü yatırıp aletimi aldı ağzına çok muhteşem yalıyordu ben bu sırada onun kalçasını kendime doğru çevirdim ve tekrar amını yalamaya başladım suları akmaya başlamıştı yine bu sefer üzerine oturdu ve deli gipi zıplamaya başladı her seferinde çıkarıp tekrar alıyordu çıldırmış gibiydi adeta yine ikimiz aynı anda boşaldık mügeyle çok çılgın bir kadındı,doyumsuz anlar yaşadık onunla,sabaha kadar her türlü pozisyonda seviştik sabahleyin de beraber banyoya girdik birbirimizi güzelce sabunladık sonra müge aldı yine benim aleti ağzına kıvama getirdi bende arkadan amına girdim biraz gidip geldikten sonra suyu açtım suyun altında finali yaptık çok muhteşem bir geceydi müge nin istanbuldan kalkıp yanıma geleceği hiç aklıma gelmemişti ama iyi ki de gelmiş çok muhteşem bir kadındı.ertesi gün terminalden gönderdim müge yi hala görüşüyoruz,benim İstanbul’a gittiğimde yaşadığımız heyecanlı geceyi bir daha ki hikayemde yazacağım

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